When we think of peace, we usually think of nations and how to resolve conflict on an international scale. We forget that peace isn't only about politics or relations between two states.
Peace touches every relationship: between countries, between neighbours, family members, lovers — and above all, the most important of them all, the relationship with ourselves.
A peaceful relationship doesn't mean the absence of conflict. Contradictory ideas, perceptions and needs will always be part of how humans meet. What matters is how we respond to them.
“Peace begins with each of us taking care of our body and mind every single day.”
As Internal Family Systems therapist Heike Mayer puts it: we all live with an inner flat-share. Parts of our psyche that took shape over the course of our development — the inner critic, the inner child, the inner driver.
Different situations activate different housemates. If we're not aware of this, it's easy to hand over the wheel to a single part — working all night, baking three cakes, blowing up at our partner — without ever choosing to.
How can we cultivate peace?
Peace begins inside us — by listening to what wants to be heard within, and finding a wise, helpful response. By listening to the other and doing the same.
When a strong emotion arises, look closely. Which of your housemates just walked into the room? What message do they carry? Don't send them away — tend to them. But keep your hand on the wheel.
We have both the capacity and the responsibility to cultivate peace within and around us. We carry so much power and freedom — an incredible gift. Let's give peace a chance. Right here, right now.
